I'm Good, You're Good, We're All Good

I have huge plans for my future.  I mean totally exciting, chic, cool plans.  Two weeks ago I talked to a Navy recruiter.  Last week I researched summer jobs on Mackinac Island.  This week… well this week I wrote an English paper (reality does set in at times), but in between times I looked up a website about creating your personal bucket list.  And the whole time, I have been thinking.

What do I want from life?  I want to be loved.  I want to be fulfilled and satisfied.  I want to be proud of what I have done.  I want to have really cool stories to tell.  I want to have fun.  “Oh, yeah,” the back of my mind squeaks, “and you should probably take into consideration what God has for your life.  After all, His way is the only way that brings true fulfillment, right?”

Well, back to English.  I have been summarizing articles and writing essays on gender identity and fatherhood (not my choice, they were assigned).  In one of the articles, a radio transcript from NPR, Kay Hymowitz, author of Manning Up spoke about what she calls “pre-adulthood.”  It is that age after college and before people grow up, and it is becoming increasingly long.  During the radio interview, she was asked a revealing question:

KELLY: Kay, it's a fair question. This is a caller who's served his nation in the military. Why does he need to settle down in the traditional sense, to be a man?

Ms. HYMOWITZ: Well, he doesn't, and he's paid substantial dues for becoming an adult and you know, I totally respect that. However, I have to ask the question: What happens when you have, you know, more and more men asking this question?

The fact is, most people - most women, in particular but men, too - say they want to marry and have children. What happens, though, if you start getting more and more men saying: Why shouldn't I just play around? Why shouldn't I just play the field? What do I need to settle down for?

I mean, it's one thing to say, you know, that this one individual, it's fine. Of course it is fine. But on a social level, we have to ask: If you get more and more of these individuals saying that, what are we saying about our future?

If everyone went around having “fun,” society wouldn’t look too good.  If I were to enlist in the Navy for the required eight years, and every other girl was to enlist as well, what would that do to marriage? 

Another one of the articles that I have been reading is written by David Blankenhorn, founder and president of the Institute for American Values.  He argues that the decline in fatherhood reflects a fundamental change in our society, and it hurts both our country and us:

In personal terms, the end result of this process, the final residue from what David Gutmann calls the “Deculturation” of paternity, is narcissism: a me-first egotism that is hostile not only to any societal goal or larger moral purpose but also to any save the most puerile understanding of personal happiness…. In a larger sense, the most significant result is our society’s steady fragmentation into atomized individuals, isolated from one another and estranged from the aspirations and realities of common membership in a family, a community, a nation, bound by mutual commitment and shared memory. (207)

With no one willing to sacrifice, no one willing to commit to others, we are harmed as individuals and as a society.  “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13).

So it would seem that running off into the wilds of Yellowstone might not be the best answer.  Now I just have to work out how one becomes their own individual, without separating themselves from others.  Who knows, maybe I will write a summary about that in English next week.

Works Cited

Blankenhorn, David.  “Fatherless America.” Sundance Choice: For Writing Across the Curriculum.  Ed. Mark Connelly. United States: Thomson Wadsworth, 2006. 203-207. Print

Hymowitz, Kay. “As America Changes, ‘Manhood’ Does, Too.” Transcript of radio 
            interview. Talk of the Nation. Natl. Public Radio. 28 Feb 2011. America’s 
            News. NewsBank. Web. 8 Jul. 2011.